It’s a Thursday afternoon and I’m waiting for a friend at Pierre (my favorite coffee spot in Rotterdam). Two men are sitting next to me, I think they are around 28 years old. I catch their conversation and I hear that they are old friends and that they haven’t seen each other for a while. The conversation is stiff and even a bit uncomfortable. This made me think about my own relationships and friendship. I think everyone has friendships and relationships that have been diluted. People you used to spend a lot of time with and who you now never see or speak. For example: in high school I had a friend who I saw everyday. When we graduated we went to different universities and from that moment on our contact became less. I tried to maintain the contact by sending a text message once in a while. I asked how things were going and if she had time to hang out. But I got less or late or even no response all the time. I thought about all the memories we have and the fact that it’s over and those times never come back. This really hurt me back then. I think we often ‘romanticize’ good times with people from the past. I think everyone has heard the quote ‘everything used to be better’ from someone’s mouth. But do you know what it is, back then there were also things that sucked. You may even had fights or irritations with the people you now ‘miss’ so much. So let’s focus more on the life we have now, with the people that are in our lives now. Because there will come a moment when you romanticize this phase because you moved on to another phase.
Another thing were a lot of people in my surroundings are struggling with lately are relationship break ups. It’s weird that you spent a lot of time with a special someone and the other moment you go back to being strangers again. One thing that I learned over time is that you shouldn’t be sad over someone who doesn’t want to be in your life. I mean, I don’t even want to be with someone or spend time with someone who doesn’t want to spend time with me. And I can’t even feel sad or bad about this, because I know I am worth more. I think everybody should feel the same way about this. It took me a long time to come to this attitude and I think it all starts with loving yourself unconditionally. If you love yourself and you know what you’re worth, it becomes easier to let go of people who treat you in a bad way. There are people out there who think you are the whole world. So why waste your time on feeling sad about people who doesn’t want to be in your life? That’s just weird.
Last week I was listening to a podcast episode from Andy J. Pizza. He said that he didn’t went on dates with women until he found the woman of his dreams. He made a list of characteristics that he wanted to found in his dream partner. Instead of wasting time on relationships with people who were not the right fit for him, he took this time to be available for the right person to come on his path. And it happened! He found the woman of his dreams and she is so much more than he dreamed of. I couldn’t agree more.
My point is: people come and go and that’s okay. When one door closes, another door opens. Cheesy, but true! The most important thing is that you love yourself. Know that you are worthy and know that you deserve to be loved. Stop wasting time on feeling sad over people who choose to treat you in a bad way or choose to walk out of your life. Instead, be available for the people you want to attract in your life and the people who want to attract you in their lives. You deserve the whole world and so much more! XO