My struggle with social media

Social media is playing a big role in today’s society and in all of our lives.. It’s kind of hard for me, because social media is a big part of my job. As a content creator I’m dealing with social media 95% of my time. And don’t take me wrong, I love it. But sometimes I struggle. These are my issues with social media:

 

I’ve always been a creative girl. When I was a little kid I always dreamed about having my own magazine. I wrote my own stories and I cut out images from magazines and made my own moodboards with it. I even coded my own website on Kindertent (this used to be a platform where you could make your own website) when I was 11 years old. When I became older I still wrote stories, but I also developed a passion for photography. I’m a very visual based person and I love to create a setting and capture it on image. I have taught myself to edit in Photoshop and Lightroom and I can spend hours color grading my images in those programs.

 

When I was 18 years old I discovered the whole blogging scene. I don’t even think that Instagram and Facebook were a thing back then. I can remember the day like it was yesterday. I was still in high school and I had the flu. I was googling on my laptop because I wanted to find the perfect foundation for a party I was going to. I stumbled on a beauty blog and a whole new world opened up for me. I started to investigate this blogging thing and I found a lot of beautiful girls who wrote about the newest beauty products and showed the most amazing looks. From that moment on I knew that I wanted to this blogging thing.. I wanted to write on my own space on the internet as well and have my little (online) magazine I always dreamed about.
It took me a year before I started my own blog, AnoukToday. After a year of blogging, Instagram became booming. I made an account and within a few months I had over a 1000 followers. And it grew ever since. In the beginning I posted every picture I made and liked. I didn’t had a ”strategy” and I also didn’t had a ”theme” for my feed. But overtime Instagram grew and the ”standards” grew as well. From that moment on ”feed goals” became a thing: all the photos had to be properly edited and fit together. I invested more time in my editing and I learned a lot about color grading. I created my own color palette and made sure every picture fit in to my feed.

 

And now I’m getting sick of it. It’s all about beautiful people sharing the most amazing images from their oh so amazing lives. And that’s what bothers me. I don’t want people to think that my life is better than theirs. I don’t want people to think that anyones life is better than theirs. Sometimes I get messages from girls saying that they love what I do, that they think I’m beautiful and that they wish they had my life and that actually makes me sad. I never had the intention to make people jealous or let people think that I’m perfect and my life is perfect. Because it’s not. I struggle with anxiety and stress as well. I have bad days as well. I have insecurities as well. I go to dark days as well. And I’m struggling with the fact that on one hand I love to create beautiful images but on the other hand I don’t want to give people the feeling that that’s the real world.

 

Besides the whole feed goals thing I’m also struggling with the fact that I spend a lot of time on social media as well. I scroll through Instagram a lot of the time and I don’t even know why. As a matter of fact I don’t even care what other people do. But still I’m scrolling and scrolling. A few weeks ago I took a little social media detox and it opened my eyes. I felt free in a way. During that detox I deleted my Snapchat account and my personal Instagram account. The only social media account I own at the moment is my AnoukToday Instagram. Oh, and my personal Facebook, which I only use to link to my IG. It gives me peace that I can’t scroll through multiple social media accounts. I also unfollowed a lot of accounts that made me insecure and people that didn’t bring positive vibes into my life.

 

During my social media detox I read instead of scrolling through social media. I spent time with my friends without being distracted by scrolling through social media. I also visualized a lot about how my perfect day off looks like. And when I visualize my perfect day, social media isn’t even a part of it. I would go to a cosy coffee place with my journal and I would sit there for hours and write stories with pen and paper. Fun fact: I even wrote all my summaries in college with pen and paper and this is less than 2 years ago, guess I’m an old school girl. I would also go to the beach with a loved one and watch the sunset. I would leave my phone home and I would take a film camera with me. I would capture the beauty of nature and the people I’m with. That’s another thing I’m struggling with.. When I’m at my grandmothers place I love to go through old photo books (the photos in this post are actually hers) and now we basically only have digital photos. That’s one of the reasons why I love film so much. I love tangible things and that’s something which is missing in this digital world.

 

I’m rambling now and I don’t even know if this whole story makes sense. All I’m trying to say is that I love to create things but I don’t want to ever give people the feeling that my life is better than theirs or that I am in any way better than them. I even don’t want people to follow me for my looks. With AnoukToday I want to inspire people to live their best lives. I want to inspire you to better yourself and to grow. I want to share my journey with self development and if it can only help one person, my goal has been achieved. I also want to give everybody a reminder that there is a real world besides this digital world. When you’re 80 years old and you have a whole life behind you, the moments you’re gonna look back at are not the moments when you were Snapchatting your friends or when you were scrolling through Instagram. You will look back at the memories you made in the real world: the times you spent with your friends and family, the places you visited. So, have a social media detox from time to time and be aware of the time you spend on social media. Also be aware of the accounts you follow and what effect they have on you. Are they making you insecure and questing your own life in a negative way? Unfollow them! Use social media as a positive and inspiring space. And don’t forget to enjoy the real beauty in life.

 

What do you think about this topic? P.S. If you’re struggling with social media and you want to talk about it with somebody, feel free to contact me any time. You can DM me on Instagram or email me at info@anouktoday.nl. X

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